Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Mom said you looked used
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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