I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
