how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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