You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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