After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
