I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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