you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
