Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize