Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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