Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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