you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
