Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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