Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
