I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
