im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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