At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
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