i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
