the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need a beard to bite.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
