clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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