I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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