Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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