We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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