All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
