I puked a lego.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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