I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
