nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
