Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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