can we get nightvision for the apartment?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
