Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
