i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
