exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
