All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
