am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize