we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
