3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
