yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
