Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
