hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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