You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Use "feeling words"
Yay
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize