Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
