HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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