How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
