So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
