6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Rumble strips road head = magical
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize