When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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