oh god the rape fog is back!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
