Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
