I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
