His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
