Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA

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(856): View more from New Jersey

We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

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(516): View more from New York

I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.

(419): View more from Ohio

Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.

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