worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
