Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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