How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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