I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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