What a fucking waste of an outfit
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
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