I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
